The Parental Identity Development (PID) Model (TM) is a 9-stage developmental model where at each stage of development the parent must complete a task in order for them to achieve competency, confidence, and a healthy self-image of their parenting identity.

There is no framework for how a human transitions into parenthood like there are for transitioning into other identities or ages. This leaves a wide space for clinician’s to support a parent making that transition – no matter where you come in on that process.

The model posits that as we understand how an individual develops a parental identity, we can understand what motivates and influences their parental choices

• Professionals can use the model to assess identity development as they develop success plans for parents, children, and families

• Parents can use the model to check in with their identity development as they learn more about being a healthy caregiver 

The 9-Stage PID Model:

• Pregnancy (Nesting)

  • This stage is concerned with creating a space (physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, etc.) for the humans that will be a part of the family.

  • The task here is to lay a foundation for the nest that the parent and child will live in

  • It becomes a foundation that allows the other stages to be placed upon it

• Infancy (Learning)

  • This stage is concerned with learning what it means to be human (how to walk, talk, do, be).

• Toddler (Adapting)

  • This stage is concerned with adapting to the parent you are (versus the one you wanted to be) while also accepting the child you have

  • The piece that culturally we have linked to terrible twos and threenagers is actually directly linked what a parent has learned about being a human

• School-Age (Exploring)

  • This stage is concerned with recognizing the influence of the world on parenting identity as the child is also beginning to do the same

  • The task here is to recognize the influence of the world on parenting identity as the child is also beginning to do the same

  • Shame here can become inflammatory because the parent’s identity is being scrutinized and compared

• Tween (Questioning)

  • This stage is concerned with questioning what is and helping both parent and child developmentally appropriate detach from one another's identities

  • This stage is can be a big trigger for both parent and child – exacerbated by the existence of puberty and the fears of the parent

• Teen (Role-playing)

  • This stage is concerned with developing a safe space for the parent and teen to role-play real-life roles

  • When holding a space for a parent’s identity here, remember their own humanness will always come first

• Young Adult (Launching)

  • This stage is concerned with launching and letting go, evaluating the tools given, and trusting the foundation that was laid

  • This stage is heavily influenced by what society says a parent should have done by now – shame can spring up at it’s most intense here

• Adult (Rediscovering)

  • This stage is concerned with working on an identity that does not include caregiving

  • If the parent has been developing their identity throughout, this phase feels refreshing; if not, this phase feels empty

  • It’s this stage that makes this whole model important for a human’s journey as a parent

• Parenting Age Adults (Sharing)

  • This stage is concerned with sharing what you’ve learned and moving into a shared caregiving experience

  • The parent, who in the Rediscovering stage found a way to reconcile their ups and downs of parents, can enjoy the shared experience; on the flip, this stage feels like reparenting as they are doing double duty as parent and grandparent